Why did the chicken cross the road?

So there is an old old joke:

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side!

Well, that is the classic version...but here are a few new possibilities. Apparently the answer might vary depending on who you ask!!

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN McCAIN:
My friends; that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone…

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

"Sex and the City" THE MOVIE!!!!

Hey Everybody

So, are you getting excited for the big "Sex and the City" movie release?!?! Ladies- I think you are with me on that one!! Woo-hoo! May 28th is the big day....two days before the US release!

"Sex and the City" is an HBO show that ran six seaxons from 1998 to 2004. It won many Golden Globes and Emmy awards. The show is consiered a sitcom though there are some serialized story lines (stories that pass from one episode to another, like in a soap opera). The show is hailed as one of, if not the most important shows

Noted as one of, if not the most, important television TV shows for fashion. Viewers tune in to see not only what leading lady Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) is going to do, but also what she is going to WEAR!

"Sex and the City" follows for New York friends, Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte and while is often very funny, the show also tackles many relevant social issues, particularly the issues facing women in the late 90s and the new millenium.

The "Sex and the City" has been long awaited by dedicated fans across the globe. I highly recommend that you see the movie AND watch the show in its original version!!! The show is famous for all of its witty comments and little plays-on-words...you just can't translate those kinds of things!!!

If you can watch the show on DVD, I recommend watching it in English with English subtitles. It might be hard at first...but you will catch on quickly!! And it's great practice :)

If you have time for a little fun...take this quiz and find out which "Sex and the City" character you are! Answer these ten questions...

And... do you know your "Sex and the City" ladies?
From left to right... Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, Miranda!

You Bring Your Own World

A friend of mine is volunteering with the Peace Corps in Togo. In case you aren't familiar with the Peace Corps, it traces its roots and mission back to 1960, when then Senator John F. Kennedy challenged students at the University of Michigan to serve their country in the cause of peace by living and working in developing countries. From that inspiration grew an agency of the federal government devoted to world peace and friendship.

Since that time, more than 190,000 Peace Corps Volunteers have been invited by 139 host countries to work on issues ranging from AIDS education to information technology and environmental preservation. Volunteers spend a little of two years in the host country. My friend is a little over half way through her mission and though it is often very difficult and challenging, she is really enjoying her experience.

This is a great story that she recently shared with me:

A man came into a town and asked an old woman what the people of the village were like. She asked him what he thought of the village he had just left. He replied, “They were mean, lazy, and disrespectful.”

She replied, “You will find the villagers here to be about the same.”

A second man came and asked the same old woman the same question, but instead insisted that the people of his previous village were hospitable, kind, and hard working.

The old woman replied, “You will find the villagers here to be about the same.”

An onlooker rushed over to the woman and demanded to know how she could say the total opposite thing to the two men yet still be telling the truth.

The wise old woman replied, “Because the truth is, you bring your world. If you find people nice, they will be. If you find people mean, they will act accordingly.”

Book Review: The Time Traveler's Wife

I recently read the book "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger. This was her first novel and it's lovely. I had several friends recommend the book to me and when I saw my mom had a copy of it, I decided to borrow it and give it a try. It was a very unique and enchanting love story. The main characters are Clare Abshire and Henry DeTamble. Henry is a time traveler...but time traveling is not all it's cracked up to be! He can't control how or when he time travels...it's more like a disease or sickness than a talent or gift. Henry and Clare are eight years apart in age, but starting from the time she is about 6 years old, her future husband Henry travels back to spend time with her! They are soul mates and know each very well and at many different ages. Their love story is powerful and very unusual. The narrative is in the first person, but changes back and forth between Henry and Clare. At the beginning of a paragraph or chapter it will say either "CLARE" or "HENRY" and then you know who is speaking...sometimes you get to see the same moment presented from each of their perspectives, which I found very interesting. It's a love story, but it's also very compelling and complex...even suspenseful at times! Also at the top of each chapter it says the date and age of the characters to help you keep track as Henry moves through time. The book met with wonderful reviews in the US and is currently being made into a movie starring Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana.

The Race

I love this political cartoon...it really gets at the heart of the current situation in the US. McCain seems to be just coasting along while the two Democratic nominees are duking it out between themselves. Some people say that they are practicing for the general election in November and that whoever emerges as the Democratic candidate will be "tried and true"...other people fear that they are damaging each other, making McCain's job easier and wasting a lot of energy and money. What do you think?

Music Top Five

The Lemond Language crew has decided to weigh in on their music faves. They could give their top five bands, albums or songs...

Here is what they have to say:

Edouard Lecomte chose:

1) Fleetwood Mac - "Rumours"
2) Beatles - "Revolver"
3) Elton John - "Yellow Brick Road"
4) Tracy Chapman - "Tracy Champan"
5) Eagles - "Hotel California"

He also recognizes Seal's album "Seal" and says the pretty much all of U2 is really good stuff!


Natalie Kettner gave her top five...but in no particular order:

The Beatles
Radiohead
The Old 97s
Wilco
Janis Joplin


Kristina Sherwood

1) Radiohead - "Kid A"
2) Jeff Buckley - "Grace"
Kristina says, "For me, the first two are OBVIOUS! But after that it gets so hard to choose!!"
3)Ani DiFranco - "Living In Clip"
("This one is maybe kind of cheating because it's a two disc compliation of live tracks that appear on other albums...but I love these live versions best and I love the way she talks to the audience and you can hear her personality!") 4)Devendra Banhart "Cripple Crow"
5)The White Stripes - "White Blood Cells"


Charlie Rice-Davis picked:

1) Ultimate Breaks & Beats
2) Girl Talk
3) Mama Cass
4) Ghostface Killah
5) The Beach Boys


Amanda Gentine got specific and picked her favorite songs...

1) Joni Mitchell..."A Case of You"
2) India Arie..."Heart of the Matter"
3) Ani DiFranco...all of it!
4) Stevie Wonder..."As"
5) "One"....U2 collaboration with Mary J. Blige


And YOU??? What makes your TOP FIVE??? Leave us a comment and let us know what you think!

Kristina's Movie Review Corner- "There Will Be Blood"

Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar for Best Actor for "There Will Be Blood." I, for one, thought that Day-Lewis definitely deserved the award.

The film was directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, who also directed "Magnolia" and wrote and directed "Boogies Nights." "There Will Be Blood" is based on a novel called "Oil", which was written by Upton Sinclair in 1927. This is a story about family, greed, religion, and oil, centered on a turn-of-the-century prospector in the early days of the business.

The evolution of the Day-Lewis' character is absolutely breath-taking. Even if the subject matter (the early oil industry) is not particularly interesting to you, this movie is still very intriguing. I definitely felt like I was sucked in!! It's really fun to see a movie about a time (turn-of-the-century) and a business that I am not very familiar with. I've read that while some elements are a bit exaggerated for the sake of the film, that all in all the portrayal of the time and events is rather accurate.

In addition to an Oscar for Best Actor, the film was also awarded an Oscar for Best Cinematography. The images are very powerful. I do warn you that there are some violent moments and that this movie was rated "R" in the USA- which means it's not for children. The classical orchestral soundtrack beautifully accompanies the action. The movie is rather long at 2hour and 40minutes, but I was never bored.

The depiction of religion, business and greed in the United States in the early 1900s was enough to make me squirm uncomfortably in my seat...but I really loved it!! I definitely encourage you to see this unforgettable movie!

A Letter to the Editor about Gun Control - Natalie Kettner

Here is a Letter to the Editor that Natalie, one of the Lemond Language trainers, wrote for a newspaper in the Midwestern USA. It's interesting how time abroad can make us question things that people back home take for granted (it seems normal, natural, "a given").

Leave us some comments and let us know what you think!

To the Editor:

I learned of the latest college campus shooting spree at Northern Illinois University the morning after it occurred via Internet at my apartment in Paris. A few hours later my sister called me from her home in London. Aside from sadness and disbelief, we both had a similar reaction: What is wrong with American society? And why are politicians and citizens alike choosing to stick their heads in the sand instead of mobilizing to protect our children and ourselves? Somehow the rules of normalcy and the dictates of a peaceful American society have been skewed to include horrendous, violent behavior by its members, replicated practically nowhere else in the world today.

A little refresher on normalcy: it is not normal to go to a university lecture, a high school, a mall or a post office and get mown down with guns. This does not occur in most Western, Asian or Middle Eastern countries. The frequency and scope of these shooting rampages continue to shock in Europe where use of guns continues to be restricted to law enforcement officials and licensed hunters. Equally troublesome is the general denial with which American politicians and the general public respond. Certainly, it sometimes takes distance to see the forest from the trees. Living in societies in which gun use is banned on the other side of the Atlantic clearly puts the horror of the situation into relief. But are Americans really so myopic as to have to stare down the barrel of a gun before confronting the enormity of this problem?

Last Tuesday I cast my vote for Barack Obama in the Parisian branch of the Democrats Abroad-organized Democratic global primary. Thankfully, franchise has empowered us to weigh in on our candidates' merits and platforms in the primaries for the first time in history from abroad. It is surprising; however, that gun control has not been a pivotal issue during the 2008 primaries, especially in the wake of high-casualty campus shootings. The War in Iraq is naturally a critical platform point because it involves American human lives; the same should hold true for American civilians carrying on their day-to-day activities. While I understand the tremendous power of the NRA in the United States, I would hope that politicians, led by the insistence of their constituents, would take on this issue head-on.

I was born and raised in Cedar Falls, Iowa, and will remain an American no matter how long I live in France. I will think twice, however, before deciding to raise my own children in a society in which his or her very life is at risk when going to school, a society which facilitates easy access to gun purchase and use, and which instead of trying to tackle this very large problem by passing gun control legislation, amplifies it by giving it huge media-play.

There have already been many US citizens laid to rest as victims of gun violence. For those of us living abroad, unsure of the country in which we'd like to finally settle, this may be the final nail in the coffin.

Sincerely,
Natalie Kettner

Paris, France

Back and Forth with Hillary and Barack

Today is a big day for Clinton and Obama with voting in Ohio and Texas. Some people are calling it The Last Stand saying that if Clinton can't win big today that she will have to step down. Still, Obama does not have this campaign in the bag yet and both candidates are still fighting hard.

Have you seen these new political ads? Hillary Clinton and her campaign have recently aired a new ad...and some people are saying this ad plays on peoples fears and anxieties about national security.

The ad goes like this:
“It’s 3 a.m. and your children are safe and asleep,” says a narrator over some threatening music and dark images. The ad tells you that there’s a world crisis and the White House phone is ringing and “Your vote will decide who answers that call.” “Whether it’s someone who already knows the world’s leaders, knows the military — someone tested and ready to lead in a dangerous world.” It ends with a photo of Mrs. Clinton wearing glasses and picking up the phone.
Mr. Obama, responding to the ad during a stop in Houston, said it raised “a perfectly legitimate question.” But, he said: “We’ve seen these ads before. They’re the kind that play on people’s fears to try to scare up votes.”

Still the Obama campaign took the ad seriously enough to want to formally respond. They aired a very similar ad that says in part: “It’s 3 a.m. and your children are safe and asleep. But there’s a phone ringing in the White House. Something’s happening in the world. When that call gets answered, shouldn’t the president be the one — the only one — who had judgment and courage to oppose the Iraq war from the start.”

The commercial concluded, “In a dangerous world, it’s judgment that matters.”

What do you think about these ads? Can you imagine similar political ads in France? If you were going to vote in the elections in the US, would these ads influence your decision? Leave us a comment!

Welcome to the Lemond Language Blog!!!!

We thought that a blog would be a fun way to keep you in the loop about the Anglophone community in Paris and let you know what's up with your favorite English trainers :)

So far you can read a few movie reviews, get the details about a New York based theatre company that will be doing a show in the Paris area, hear about shows, restaurants and get a laugh at a political cartoon.

We plan to update the blog at least once per week and we hope that YOU will leave comments! It's easy to do, just click on "comments" at the bottom of a post.

We hope you enjoy it. Please feel free to leave comments, requests and suggestions!!

Kristina's Movie Review Corner - Juno

I saw the movie "Juno" and was pleasantly surprised. The movie is quirky and off-beat, a little bit in the vein of "Little Miss Sunshine" (another really fun movie!) It tells the story of Juno, a 16 year-old girl living in Minnesota, who accidentally gets pregnant and decides to give the baby up for adoption. The soundtrack is full of sweet, folk/indie tunes and the cast is made up of lots of fun and memorable characters. It's well written and it even won the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. Not bad! "Juno" is light-hearted and fun...if you are in the mood for something deep and profound, then this might not be your movie, but if you want something touching and entertaining, then I definitely recommend it!

Welcome to Nowhere (bullet hole road) - New York Theatre in the Paris region!!

A friend of mine is the managing director of a theatre company in New York City called Temporary Distoration. This company is bringing their highly acclaimed show, Welcome to Nowhere (bullet hole road) to the EXIT Festival in Creteil April 1 - 5.

"NY Theatre" reviewed the show and said:
A captivating, hypnotic, and mesmerizing work of art, easily one of the best plays I've seen this year....I've never seen anything like this on the stage. Sure, I've seen plays that utilize non-linear storytelling, mixed- and multi-media. I've also seen works that act more as installation pieces than conventional "plays" before. But I've never seen something that employs all these methods that is so compelling, so haunting, so thoroughly absorbing. I loved this show. - nytheatre.com

ABOUT THE SHOW:
Part road movie, part fractured memory, part love story...Welcome to Nowhere (bullet hole road) is a hybrid of theater and cinema. During the performance, a constant stream of video is projected above the cast. In scenes of prolonged stillness, silence and impassivity, doppelgangers of the characters we meet onstage navigate a hyper-real cinematic landscape as if lost in a dream, creating parallel narratives that echo, reflect and refract each moment of the play.

A daring performance about memory and identity. Welcome to Nowhere captures beautifully the psychic haziness it takes on as a major theme. - Village Voice

The video sequences in Welcome to Nowhere are so beautifully shot they put most major films to shame. - Off Off Blogway

Primary Madness

I thought this was a pretty funny political cartoon. Sometimes there is only a very fine line between politics and entertainment/sports!

Quarterlife....

Have you heard about this show? Here is the trailer:

"Quarterlife" is an American online series and soical network created by Marshal Herskovitz and Edward Zwick (creators of the TV series "My So-Called Life" starring a young Claire Danes). The show is about six twenty-something artists, coming of age in the digital generation. It was announced on November 17, 2007, that NBC had acquired the rights to air "Quarterlife" on broadcast television in early 2008, after the episodes have been broadcast on the Internet.

The quarterlife sights says:

"What is quarterlife ?
It's a site that was built for you - your creativity, passion, and aspiration. It's a place to be creative, share your work with like-minded people - and make sense of your world... whatever that means. Because on some level, we're all on the same path...

The quarterlife series follows a group of friends in their 20s as they pursue their dreams and experience the bitter and sweet of life."

It's free to watch the show online...maybe you'd like to test your listening comprehension skills!

Breakfast in America - Restaurant

"Breakfast in America is famous for, well, breakfast, of course!

But we're also known for being one of the best places in Paris for burgers! Our philosophy is to provide an alternative to fast food by serving fresh, quality dishes with larger portions -- and all with a special dash of TLC!"

A special dash of TLC...Tender Loving Care...just what a good meal needs! That is what it says on the Breakfast in America website. There are two Paris locations for you to have "breakfast anytime" or grab a burger and slurp down a banana milkshake (yum!).

17, rue des Ecoles in the 5th arr. or in the marais at 4 rue Malher.

Kristina's Movie Review Corner - Into the Wild

I saw the movie "Into the Wild" a few weeks ago. It's based on a true story and it's something of a legend in the US so I wasn't sure if I really wanted to go... I felt like, "I already know the story, so what's the point?" I ended up going to the movie anyway and I am so glad I did....it was excellent!

The sound track is great, the shots of the great wide American open spaces are truly breath-taking and the story is very interesting. It's about a young man who travels all across the US and ultimately reaches Alaska where he lives off the land. You see him burn all of his money and give up most of his worldly possessions. He meets many different people along the way and it is interesting to see how he impacts their lives.

One thing I especially liked about the movie is that it doesn't idolize the main character; he isn't put up on a pedestal as The Perfect Man, but instead the film leaves lots of gray area for you to make up your own mind and form your own opinions about his choices and adventures.

I really recommend this movie. However be prepared to want to get out of town afterwards! It really makes you feel like going out and enjoying nature for a while. I ended up walking home from Place de Clichy after the movie, because I just couldn't bear to get into the metro!!